Wednesday, July 28, 2010


"My dear Mr. Halyard: We have just completed an audit of the personnel cards for our Department, checking the information coded on them against the facts. During this audit, it was discovered that you failed to meet the physical-education requirements for a bachelor's degree from Cornell University, and that the degree was awarded you through a clerical oversight of this deficiency. I regret to inform you that you are, therefore, technically without a bachelor’s degree, and, hence, technically ineligible for the M.A. and Ph.D. degrees which also appear on your record."- KVJ, Player Piano

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