Tuesday, January 31, 2012


A reflective surface, lighting up a camera lying on the floor of my room. My reflection, my picture, my self-image, the missing link of how I’m broken or different. Finding happiness and looking in the mirror with a new haircut and trying to live up to expectation. Self-expectation, stories and plans, making the most of myself for others. Finding motivation. Finding myself in the mirror, taking a picture because the image is fleeting. Always looking for a quick fix.

1: A position of difficulty or embarrassment.
2a: A determination of one’s position.
2b: An accurate determination or understanding esp. by observation or analysis.
3: Illegal fixing.
4: A supply or dose of something strongly desired or craved.
5: see: FIXATION.
6: Something that fixes or restores- a SOLUTION.

The fix: I found myself squarely in a difficult position, with every possible move leading me back to where I started. So, I broke the rules and worked my own game to get what I wanted, what I had always wanted, what I'll always want. And having it, I'll never need anything ever again.

"To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished."

Zadie and her White Teeth in my bathroom sitting on the toilet pondering the true effects of poisoning yourself with exhaust fumes, with my white teeth sitting in a Wal-Mart box on the counter and Mark's clothes on the floor and I don't think I have anything left of Tadd and he's ashes now, and what are a few millenia, amongst friends, anyhow?

Everything and its everything else.

Drinking lousy beer with a bunch of phoneticists in a Beverly Hills Community Center and Ted Roxbury is the namesake speaker telling us all that Google IS the singularity because it has invented the most fantastic PIE base and we all salute with a shot of Vodka.

The world turns and we are small. German chocolate cake is a must and I'm ready to get roaring drunk roaring fire and plug the wife in my head into the cake and extrapolate a universe where I am happy.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Kerry Willig

"i would like to share a story with everyone. it was halloween 2003. i met tadd at simons rock. i was dressed like sally from a nightmare before christmas and he was dressed like a cowboy. at that time he had a broken leg from dancing and was wearing a hot pink cast. simons rock gave him a rascal that old people drive around. i picked him up and we went to the co-op parking lot and blazed our selves stupid...hoping we could trick-or-treat around town. well we took a little too much time smoking and had just missed the free candy. so he suggested going to simons rock and trick-or-treating there. drunk and blazed out of our minds, we rode that rascal around..me sitting in the basket...and knocked on almost every dorm room and pissed the shit out of everyone. it was a hoot and holler. that is my favorite memory of tadd and if he was still here today he would continue to tell it. he's one in a million."

Sunday, January 22, 2012

This world, full of beautiful lakes, sunsets. I could be happy forever building a porch and a dock by any of them. But then again, I couldn't.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

"Solo missions. It is the point. But defeats the point of another."


Saturday, January 14, 2012

'Yeah more or less. my sister started flipping through your photos but susan stopped her when she started shouting "THE POINT IS JOY!!"'

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Educational Cores

I suppose it all boils down to logic. Logic is the underpinning of how we understand our world, and a few simple logical tools build most of the complexity in our day-to-day lives.

Language. Math, programming, and English or Chinese. Each of these three styles of language are for very different goals, but they function in similar ways. They are representational structures that allow named things to be organized and shared. I think a field of math, a field of spoken language, and a programming fluency will help people understand their world today. For example: Statistics, C++, and English. These three tools open up a lot of doors for the investment.

Critical thinking skills and emotional intelligence.