Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I have been making progress in being more active about processing the mentality of "High hopes, low expectations." I think it's working well.

Best birthday I can remember in recent history. Nice to have friends, and land, and the air and the fire. Nice to have high hopes and low expectations. Examples: Sweet horny love-making with REI girl on new crash pad/she never answers the phone andor turns out to be really dull and uninspiring and somehow makes me embarrassed or is embarrassed by me or both anyway. It helps to motivate by keeping the goal in mind, it helps not to paralyze by fully weighing the potential outcomes.

Anyway, It was a splendorific experience to get the salesgirl at the big outdoor chain's phone number after getting her to try out my new bed just like the experience was straight out of a Climbing magazine article or sleeping-bag gear guide or tent-guying bivy tarp cautionary tale. And it was wonderful to have Ashley make me a yummy cake, and all the other wonderful little nuances of the evening. The chair breaking, dousing myself with wine, laughter all around. The warm feeling from sitting in the crashpad with fire and wine, the ease of building a roaring fire as if by intuition, because Adamo and Dan did all the work. The coming-togetherness of my life's feeling these past few dexedrine fueled low carb days. Splendid. Cherished.

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